My Job

I travel a lot.  When I say travel I mean drive.  In the last five years, I have spent 75% of my life driving. I have been to Georgia, Alabama, Tennessee, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia, Washington DC, Maryland, Delaware, Pennsylvania and New Jersey (but I do not count New Jersey because I am from there.) The things that I enjoy the most from all of this traveling is the solitude, I get to spend hours and hours of nothing but me and my mind. The lack of friends, home and family make this job perfect for me.  I have found that in order to do this job well, you need to let go of all those desires that make going home important.  If you have no relationship, there is no one to miss or long for, if you have no family, again, no one to miss you or be glad to see you return. Friends are possible, but after you turn down too many invitations for cook-outs, parties, birthdays and holiday events, people get the hint and stop sending invitations (why bother?)  Not having a place to live is also important.  I do not own a home or property.  I don’t even rent an apartment.  I pay people money to let me sleep on their couch while I am in the town of my residence.  As of now I pay a relative a monthly rate to stay in one of their spare bedrooms.

If you can deal with the lack of sleep, aching back, hemorrhoids, chain-smoking cigarettes, coffee and a diet of fast food mini mart cuisine, not to mention the consumption of alcohol that is needed to help you cope with the shitty nightmare that you have created for yourself, this job may be perfect for you.  If on the other hand, you care about such things as a healthy body, mind and spirit, not so much.

I am an Environmental Consultant, which means, I inspect buildings for Asbestos, Lead and Mold.  The job in and of itself is not so bad, the threat of lung cancer, Asbestosis, Mesothelioma and, lead poisoning are a minor concern but they are the least of my worries.  I am certain that the alcohol, caffeine, cigarettes and fast food will do away with me long before the environmental hazards will.

Now, those few, very few, that read this might say “Well why don’t you quit? Get another job? The only reply I have to that is…but I get to travel a lot.


“Maybe it’s a good idea we no longer communicate.”

…“Maybe it’s a good idea we no longer communicate.”
These were the last words he had ever received from her. As he read it, he felt as though his chest had imploded, he could actually feel his insides fall into despair. Could she really mean this? Was this some sort of practical joke? But he knew her all too well, this was no joke. What grievous error had he committed? Had he shared too much with her? Not enough? Many thoughts began to swirl around his head. There were far too many for him to focus on any particular one. He poured another drink; the alcohol gave him the calm reserve to deal with the flood of emotions he was experiencing. Had he come on too strong? He did, after all, send her a very heartfelt letter in which he had bared his soul. He had admitted to things that most men would not dare share with anyone else. He had shared with her all of his feelings of loneliness, fear, sadness the tears he had cried. Things he could scarcely admit to himself, let alone another human being.
Nonetheless, he wrote it all down, just for her.
But, it did not matter; it had meant nothing to her.
She recognized the letter as a sign of weakness. Who was this frightened little man who would waste his time chasing her, a woman well beyond his reach? Had he no shame? Had he no dignity? She could not be concerned with anyone’s emotions but her own, let alone a man with whom she had had a brief affair with so long ago. How pathetic that anyone would carry a torch for so long over something that meant so little. The feeling of disgust made her sick to her stomach. She could not even find pity for this creature, only contempt. She knew immediately that she would have to cut this malignant wound out of her life forever. It was then that she sent a text that would put an end to this once and for all.
…“Maybe it’s a good idea we no longer communicate.”
With the slightest smile on her face, she hit send. She was giddy with anticipation as to the devastation she was about to induce upon his weak soul.
…“Maybe it’s a good idea we no longer communicate.”
The only response he could come up with was
As you wish.